Divorce and break-up rank as one of the most difficult and stress inducing decisions you will have to make in your life because there is so much at stake.
It is a terrible idea to make this important decision with high egos, pride, anger, vindictiveness, frustration, or based on what your mom and sister think, etc.
My Discernment Counseling clients are very intelligent, professional, well-educated, reasonable, and successful. But when it comes to matters of the heart, and dealing with the unique brand of high stress that comes with difficulty in a close relationship, all reason and intelligence goes out the door.
Doing couples counseling in it’s traditional format at such an advanced stage of conflict can sometimes create more confusion and conflict. It can even accelerate the demise of the relationship.
Discernment counseling is for you if:
Discernment counseling will guide you to one of these three paths
Anyone who is considering divorce or break-up has probably already exhausted all avenues to improve their relationship. They are most likely very skeptical that their partner or their relationship can ever change for the better.
So, when nothing has ever worked thus far, why do I think that the 6 months of counseling will be some panacea that will solve it all?
The answer is that discernment counseling takes you through a process that results in each partner literarily developing a written list of 1) their own personal contribution to the state their relationship is in right now 2) an understanding of the dynamics of the relationship.
So, when it comes time to choose between the 3 paths, you are not agreeing to an abstract idea of "let’s try to make it work". You have a clear understanding of what you need to do and what you can expect your partner to do in order to bring about positive change.
Each partner knows what they are getting into. There is an actual written agreement.
Winners All Around
Discernment Counseling has the potential to save a relationship when nothing else works.
- It provides closure and clarity to each partner even if the couple decides not to stay together.
- Both people have the satisfaction of saying they tried everything before calling it quits.
- Co-parenting and communicating amicably becomes more possible.
- The divorce process becomes more clear when you have already negotiated the negative emotions and had a chance to consider everything to make an informed decision. As a result of Discernment Counseling people save thousands of dollars in attorney fees and a lot of time and emotions by not being petty and vindictive.
- This protocol becomes the moment of truth. While Discernment Counseling makes it easy for a partner who is trying to find clear solutions to saving the relationship, it also makes it difficult for a partner who was never truly serious about making amends to keep on faking.
There is a maximum number of five sessions. At the end of each session, the couple decides whether they would like to come back for another session or not.